Welcome to the Asylum. I am Jack, your host and I run this old place. What is the "MILLION DOLLAR RACE"? The Nurse (Bilbo.gaggins) and I are FINISHED being hooligans, bums and Ne'er-do-wells! We are committing ourselves to the teachings of Andrew Carnegie. We are in a RACE! Rules are simple. First to $1,000,000 WINS! We have NO idea how we are going to accomplish this, we only know that we will. Placebo, Gargage, Pudding, R.I.B. and Sub Badges (Art and Emotes) done by Colgate4 The rest is done by ME using MS Paint

RULE #1 Jack is always right. RULE #2 Jack is ALWAYS right! RULE #3 There is no Reality. RULE #4 Race/Age/Gender/Sexuality/Belief Systems have no meaning in the Asylum and will be randomly assigned to you by the voices in Jack's head. RULE #5 Be respectful of other people's Therapy. RULE #6 It is all about the funny. do not ruin the jokes! And, try not to upset the staff. (Any and all issues with the rules, see rules 1 and 2.)

Make sure that I win! Donate to the cause!

Q . Why do you hate Kappas and JKs? A . Because they ruin a good "burn" . Own your burn. Q . Is the Asylum for the insane ? A . No. This is a Sane Asylum . Only for the Sane or working on sanity . Q . What is the Basement ? A . The Basement is a great place filled with the MK Ultra machines that have been there since the 80's . Q . Why is it SO much fun going to the Basement ? A . Because, the machines "wash" your brains of all the wrong thinking and replace the Garbage with The Truth ! Q . What is The Truth ? A . The Truth = "Jack is the best most handsome , funny , talented , perfect , genius , wise and humble person there ever was, is or will be ! And , the Rules of Therapy are perfect !"