Welcome to Hell, my little bitches. Oh, wait. We've been in Nietzsche's hell all along, haven't we? Remember when we were sliiiightly less depressed and the "adults" fed us lies about how we could be anything we wanted to be? The cracks in that facade were glaringly evident to me even then, because I didn't want to be, let alone be anything in particular. But apparently I had to pick. Fine. In that dingy little building where resentment was also building, *I* was glaring now. I said I wanted to be a writer. "No. No, you can't. Do you know how long that takes? You probably won't even get any money from it. Pick something else". Something, this time - "something", not "anything". Interesting. Why did I have to pick something else? "It doesn't pay well. I'm not saying you can't, but..." Fucking lol. Whatever game we're playing on screen, I'm certainly not playing *that* one anymore. I'm writing a novel. What's it about? Everything and nothing. *Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur.* It doesn't really matter. It's all rather meta, so it doesn't even matter if I don't finish it. I'm merely doing it just because, once upon a time, I really wanted to - and if you're around enough, lmk if you want to be in it too. ♡

✧ Be nice or at least awkwardly tsundere ✧ Don't ask me weird personal shit or I'll respond with even weirder shit lmaoooo. Fighting fire with hellfire is kinda fun sometimes. Uh, not that anyone would ever lie on the internet, of course! ✧ Shhh about race unless you would like a mod to erase you ✧ If I ever bring up something political, it's 1984 in here. Do I expect you to agree or stfu like I had to as a kid? YOU BET ✧ No religion unless it's ironic devil-worshipping ✧ Don't compare me to other streamers or mention view count. I'm sick of that lifelong scrutiny, and if fame was my priority then I would do a lot of things differently, like focusing on appealing to the lowest common denominator (ur mom lol) •───⁺──⋅☾ . ✦ . ☽⋅──⁺───• Banter is fine if we know each other. Just don't go overboard with it or you'll go overboard too ⋆｡° ♡

#Along with the usual emotes, here are some extra sub incentives that absolutely no one asked for and which you are more than welcome to nope out of: ##Tier 2 subs ✧ Discord channel where you can see the unhinged DMs I send people/spambots when I finally get around to replying (featuring pretty much nothing from/of whoever I'm talking to, of course) ✧ Occasional streamshots of me emotionally terrorising other people's chats hehehe. Will try and get in the habit of making clips, too ##Tier 3 subs ✧ Tier 2 incentives shown above ✧ Access to the T3 Discord channel which has convos between Flash and me, including where he begs me not to steal his gf ✧ Also includes wild lines that I have sent at work/entered in my timesheet, and other miscellaneous thoughts in/from my day-to-day life that may/may not be true wheeeeeeeee •───⁺──⋅☾ . ✦ . ☽⋅──⁺───• All numbers below are cumulative unless otherwise stated, but you know I like it all at once. Each tier also includes previous tier rewards, of course. ##10 gift subs ✧ Will notice you, if only for a moment ##25 gift subs ✧ Will genuinely appreciate you (until someone better comes along) ##50 gift subs ✧ Will glaze you just enough to make sure you stay attached. ##100 gift subs ✧ Customise your thank you message! Why would you want me to say thanks like a regular person when you could make me say "fuck you" and look like an ungrateful asshole? I wish I could say this is a purely hypothetical example, but alas... ✧ Tone of voice and which voice are also customisable! ✧ Buuuut if you want to change anything later, that's another 100 kthxbai xoxo ##For every 100 gift subs ✧ Will include your name and pretty much any non-TOS message you want in the book that I'm writing uwu ##200 gift subs ✧ Will write your name (lmk if you prefer username or another name) and stick it on the wall behind me. You get to choose what fountain pen ink I use, and if you want a little message underneath your name ♡ ##500 gift subs ✧ Will start talking about you when you're not there. It'll be almost like I love you for real, omg! ##1000 gift subs ✧ Might actually love you (platonically ofc...hahaha u-unless...??) lol idk lmk if you want something different and i'll forge- i mean, think about it . ˳ · ˖ ˚ . ♡

**How do you pronounce your username?** With great difficulty, apparently! Lmaoooo I learned English primarily through reading, so I do enjoy watching people struggle to pronounce it while I helpfully provide zero clarification **Where do you live?** Somewhere between the moon and stars, cosily ensconced within a nest of discarded drafts. **Um, okay. How old are you?** I'm legal, but we can do illegal things like scan the avocados as grapes and cut tags off suspiciously stained mattresses. **Can you add me on Discord?** Sure! Just send me a friend request ♡ **Can we collab?** Probably, but I hope you know what we're doing because I sure don't. **Uh...you said something even weirder than usual. Are you being for real?** Oh, you should rarely take me seriously. But you should seriously take me...out (of this life) on a cute date (with death), and we can go shopping for cute and distracting accoutrements (lest I start a coup) **Why are you so uncooperative? Wtf?** Oh, I find it amusing - particularly when I say something wild and no one can tell if I'm joking. Don't worry, I love you really. ♡ •───⁺──⋅☾ . ✦ . ☽⋅──⁺───• For serious queries, either hang around stream for more than just my nips and underwear to slip, or ask my secretaries: [Pierce](https://twitch.tv/Pierce7d) and [Jaazzy](https://twitch.tv/SassyJaazzy) and prayge that it doesn't get lost in the ADHD

An absolute mystery while I try and remember how Twitch works again. I usually stream around 9am-11am EST (non-daylight savings) on the days that I do stream. Please check the [Discord](https://discord.gg/vhvBSJZxJd) for updates in the meantime ⋆｡°

I have succumbed wholly to relentless consumerism. The fleeting excitement elicited by unwrapping shiny new things is a rare distraction from the perpetual cacophony in my mind. (If something's sold out, I'll probs just get something similar. Will try and send pics of things, but please excuse me if it takes forever or if I simply...don't.) tl;dr: if you give me cute shit then i will mysteriously find the energy to keep being live and alive

Two people fucked several aeons ago, and now I am utterly fucked in a completely different way. Did not sign up for this particular p2w game, but fine. No refunds because all donations go towards the ritualistic and Lovecraftian horrors of continuing to exist. Anon donations [here](https://ko-fi.com/xlunalise).

!discord !lurk !lunairl !bonk !milk !jaazzy !eggplant !kaybeejay !strawbels