The real payoff for gaming(whether online or more importantly, IRL), is seeing your circle of friends that you call family.
I still see the same people I used to play with back in high school and would do anything if they were in need!
You develop your own language with one another - more than the usual pop culture movie quotes and such.
You make new friends or even just plain old acquaintances just having a shared hobby and I cannot stress how important having a hobby or shared interest is in this life!!!
If you haven't found something, yet, keep looking - and try EVERYTHING once.
We don't get to do this a second time and life is too short not to.
Swallow that nervous energy and force that foot into the room or game.
The worst thing that will happen is that you learn what you do not enjoy but, more importantly, it will lead you down paths to what you definitely do!
I started GMing Rolemaster in the late 80s as a teen, during my time working in a comic shop where the owner had a weekly Pen and Paper game that just rocked as a player!
My imagination was completely enraptured when the GM would sweep the gaming table of everything and lay down a plotter sized piece of graph paper that he hand drew the actual dungeon based upon the Miniatures scale and what "they would see".
I was hooked thereafter and spent everything I had on collecting every RM2 book they had until I had them all.
This grew into D&D 2e, 3.5, etc.