Describing myself in a positive light is probably best done after drinking large amounts of alcohol, followed by striking my head repeatedly against a hard surface, until as such time as I am able to delude myself into believing I am a good person. Sadly I drink minimally and hard surfaces hurt, so it is safe to assume that I am a person whom your parents would not approve of. But for the record, I am a 53 year old Australian...frick me 53 :( -- (inserting more pleasurable lie to act as truth now: I am a 26 year old Australian) who has made poor decisions throughout most of my life so far including serving time for just under 20 years (yes...I was 6 at the time) for reasons best not gone into here. Probably the one true thing about me that I can say without qualms - I have a dark sense of humour flavoured with the cynicism born of reality and the desperate belief that we humans will continue to survive despite all actions to the contrary.

One could only wish for this ^. The rules which deny the above, but are sadly needed in this day of anonymous pitchforks and flaming torches. 1.) Be kind and courteous to others in chat. ̶U̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶s̶t̶e̶a̶m̶e̶d̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶d̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶B̶o̶b̶ ̶R̶o̶s̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶.̶ 2.) Respect the Moderators. I don't pay them and that makes them extremely valuable to me!!! (Note to self: current mods = 0 = fix!) 3.) This channel is always marked as Adult content but that doesn't mean we want to see your little head! So keep it and links like that out of here. 4.) And don't do whatever Twitch says you can't do, which is probably a really long list and I apologise for asking you to read their list instead of spending time transcribing it here. I again apologise as you will also have to look for the list. Good luck!

I will totally use every dollar donated to improve this stream into the techno-pastel environment best suited to each individual viewer's pleasure centres in the hopes that they will become enthralled and add extra zeros to those donations. ^ The above is a lie...truth be told I will probably buy cigarettes after removing the 60% tax on earnings and die a miserable lonely old man with half a lung and a voicebox talker. The lonely part of course will be the reality that the donations I make (after taxes) will probably mean I can only afford the most feral tobacco weed in existence and thus my lady will point out the stench I exude from smoking is a relationship breaker. Moral of the story: Don't smoke or if you do....just accept the fact that it will drain you of any spare cash, then any needed cash like dentist bills, and then the cash that pays for food. In truth though: I don't expect nor will I ever ask you for anything other than that you have a good time and if you aren't...then just heckle the crap out of me (within reason of course...because I am delicate and prone to piteous bouts of weeping)